July 27, 2007

Contest – What could be the worst possible name you could have in High School?


As the BlogLord and I were having our weekly (at least) teleconference, we posed the question above. My answer was “Prickface”. What names do you think would have been horrific? We only want names that would create great amounts of teasing and torture.

Please begin…

10 responses to “Contest – What could be the worst possible name you could have in High School?”

  1. ZappaCrappa says:

    Well…when I was in HS, there was a group of guys that teased one poor girl relentlessly (her family was obviously very poor) and her name was Margaret….these slimeballs called her “Maggot” instead. I hope they all married VD infested women who gave them uncurable diseases. I know one ended up as round as he was tall….I laughed at him at the 10 year reunion.

  2. ZappaCrappa says:

    I might have made a mistake here…did you mean ACTUAL names?

  3. FloridaBill says:

    I don’t think Prickface is an actual name, but let’s keep it somehat realistic and fun.

  4. ZappaCrappa says:

    OK : )

    I nominate Pujoles. Everytime me and my daughter play MLB baseball on the xbox, she never fails to laugh uncontrollably when the stadium announcer says….”Up next at the plate…Albert….POOOOOOOOHOLES!”

  5. FloridaBill says:

    That is a good one. Maybe that’s why he did steroids so people would stop picking on him. Better than Poopholes I guess (which is what we call Albert when the Cardinals are playing the Cubbies).

    I had a friend in HS named Jeff Head. His father’s name was Richard and had a real estate company. To this day, you can still see signs around B’ham that read: “For Sale, Dick Head Realty”.

  6. Yarbz says:

    In hightschool, many names are bad and teasing can be routine:

    – Butts
    – Bumgardener
    – Bates
    – Hitler
    – Clinton
    – Dick
    – Gay

    Here is a website of stuff:
    SLANG MEANING: masculine (adjective). Primarily used about gays and lesbians.
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad, unless he is openly gay.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Western outlaw Butch Cassidy

    SLANG MEANING: No slang meaning, but if you pronounce it the way Colin Powell does, (KOH-lin) instead of the usual way (KAH-lin), it sounds like you’re talking about your intestines.
    BAD FACTOR: Bad. I once had a boss who was dating a guy named Colin pronounced “KOH-lin.” People tried hard not to giggle when his name came up in staff meetings. And we were adults. Imagine junior high.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: US Secretary of State Colin Powell

    BAD FACTOR: Bad. Many older men have this nickname (for Richard) but young men avoid it.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: US Vice President Dick Cheney

    BAD FACTOR: Especially bad in high school and college. No longer a popular name.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Bluegrass musician Earl Scruggs

    SLANG MEANING: Gay (Duh!)
    BAD FACTOR: Bad.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Best selling author Gay Talese

    SLANG MEANING: Customer of a prostitute
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad. Most people wouldn’t make that association.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Actor John Travolta and a large percentage of the male English speaking population

    John Thomas
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad. Kind of old fashioned as slang.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Toronto Raptors basketballer John Thomas

    BAD FACTOR: A little bad, but how many people use Johnson as their first name?
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Basketball legend Magic Johnson (not his first name either, but it goes well with “magic”, don’t you think?)

    BAD FACTOR: Not bad, and most people with this name go by “Pete.”
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Nightly News anchor Peter Jennings

    BAD FACTOR: Especially bad in high school and college.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Green Party candidate Ralph Nader

    SLANG MEANING: Sexually excited.
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad. Guys with this name might joke about it themselves.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Oscar winning composer Randy Newman

    BAD FACTOR: Bad. Great name for a porno star.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Rock singer Rod Stewart

    BAD FACTOR: Not bad. Slang term is more common in Britain than the US.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Baseball great Willy Mays

    SLANG MEANING: Erect penis.
    BAD FACTOR: Bad in high school, but younger kids don’t know about it. That’s probably why it was considered okay as the name of the hero in the children’s movie Toy Story.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Director Woody Allen


    SLANG MEANING: virginity
    BAD FACTOR: Okay in elementary school, but in middle school or high school, this would be a really bad name to have. The term is most often used to discuss losing virginity.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Actress Cherry Jones

    SLANG MEANING: polite word for buttocks (worse, in the UK it can mean vagina.)
    BAD FACTOR: Bad at every age.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: French actress Fanny Ardant

    Mary Jane
    SLANG MEANING: marijuana
    BAD FACTOR: Okay in elementary school, unfortunate in middle school or high school
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Halloween peanut butter candy Mary Janes

    SLANG MEANING: the victim of a dishonest scheme, or the person who is forced to take responsibility for a crime.
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad. Unless their parents allow them to stay up for The Sopranos, kids don’t know the double meaning
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Singer Patsy Cline

    SLANG MEANING: feminine gay man
    BAD FACTOR: Okay. Besides the fact that it only refers to men and it’s a girl’s name, that slang is old-fashioned, so most kids wouldn’t know it.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Gay punk-pop band Pansy Division

    Priss, Prissy (short form of Priscilla)
    SLANG MEANING: overly concerned about getting dirty
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad. Probably not an issue after elementary school
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Prissy Presley

    SLANG MEANING: Sexually excited.
    BAD FACTOR: Not bad, though somewhat worse for girls than boys named Randy.
    FAMOUS NAMESAKE: Adult film star Randi Rage

  7. ZappaCrappa says:

    “Dick Head Realty”…heh heh heh

  8. cj says:

    Around here we go regularly go by the names of pumpkin head, cutie pie, a-hole, frigging prick, little shit-head, cute ass, big one, etc. In school — I can’t remember too many brain cells have died a wonderful alcohol infested death. We did talk about flying pigs a lot for some reason.

  9. Feste says:

    No lie, the catholic chaplain at my college was named Father Michael Hunt. Quite a few snickers when he introduced himself.

    Unfortunate last names of people I knew in college: a girl whose last name was Slutski. And a guy with the last name Steinfink.

    I had a Medieval Literature professor named James Dean.

  10. FloridaBill says:

    Funny, I’ve never seen Mike Hunt. That is the absolute worst name ever. Slutski is pretty bad too.