April 27, 2007




It’s just a few minutes after eight o’clock Friday evening and I am sitting at my bar listening to Joe Jackson’s second release I’m The Man on vinyl. I am slightly buzzed from four beers at Famous Dave’s BBQ which recently opened in business starved New Britain, Connecticut.

It’s really nice hearing Joe Jackson again. This album was one of my anthem albums during my teens and early twenties growing up in the snooty ‘burb of Simsbury Connecticut. I played this album, the exact physical album, when I was 19. Oils from my teenaged fingers must be all over the cover. The sound is clean and crisp and the black pancake plays loud without a defect. The songs come one by one to remind me of my youth and how I truly yearn for those days. Those simple days? Or is it the ignorance of those times?

I worked for beer money and life and existence was not do or die. In reality life was always do or die. It’s just that I didn’t know it then.

Working at the ARCO station filling cars and cleaning windshields was all I had to worry about. If I was hung over, I had youth to overcome it. No stress about making sure I had health insurance entered my mind (although I was covered under my parents insurance while I lived at home but that was Greek to me then). Life was work, party, sleep, work, party, sleep, buy album, work, party, sleep.

This all floods back to me at one-hundred and fifty watts per channel as I listen to old piece of pristine vinyl that I purchased in 1979 when I was 19. It’s a wonder how such things jog more than memories, I get smells, anger and even sensual overtones of times gone by. Of course I remember my friends and my bedroom and my Chevelle as well. I also remember my innocence which was left in the gutter of time decades ago. I miss my youthful innocence and would give much to get that naive view of the world and life back a reasonable perspective of the planet for the rest of my years.

Tonight I get to travel back with my friend Joe. Joe Jackson. He rocks. He does indeed rock and this old vinyl is ass kicking fantastic and a far bit better than the sterile CD’s, DVD’s, iPod’s and mp3’s that the sonically ignorant kids use today. The youth of today will one day look back on the ancient technology of their youth with the same backwards yearning that I feel tonight. For all their pimply arrogant young ignorance induced know-it-all bullshit attitudes, they will, after all is said and done, have not one-millisecond more and any age than we’ve had. They are the ones who have to prove themselves! We are 40. We are 50. We are 60. They are 18,19, 25 and even 30. They have yet to get where we are and that is the hardest part of life!

On occasion I look at today’s kids and think they may in fact have it better than we did. But as time goes by I always realize that they have to deal with the ever growing dangers that we never had to deal with: The threat of anarchy, disease as well as the potent virus known as technology. This virus cannot be held back even with the most potent and aggressive antibiotics. It’s scary…

But tonight I have Joe Jackson and now 250 watts per channel and a few beers. They can deal with it as it comes. For now, I’m dealing with sonic heaven.

[2042hrs]: I just started Joe Jackson’s first album Look Sharp which is even better!



Being the mouthpiece of the oppressed, the downtrodden, the underdog and everyone else the Statue of Liberty talks about, The Captain is morally but more likely compulsively obliged to comment on another in the long line of injustices so ignominiously served upon the fairer sex (that’s sexist yet poetic lingo for “females”). Of course, some just call me a mouthpiece, often subtracting “piece”. Be that as it may, I cannot stand idly by when half of our population is slighted by the subtle but sinister transformation of Take Your Daughters to Work Day into Take Your Daughters, Sons, Nieces, Nephews, Street Urchins and Marginal Relations to Work Day.

Given the longstanding state of inequity between male and female in the workplace, this event was designed to encourage young women to enter for a day the magical kingdom of the working world to fan the sparks of a dream career. The fact that the working world is in truth a dysfunctional, unfulfilling rat race is beside the point. Women should have an equal opportunity to partake in the spirit-sapping drudgery should they choose to do so. This day was originally just for women but, like the TV remote, has been co-opted by men!

The Captain was a witness to one particular event which illustrates the extent to which this event has drifted off course. While pretending to work out at the local fitness center, I watched as a mother brought her adolescent son in for a tour of the facility to kill time, because, as we all know, Take Your Daughters, Sons, Nieces, Nephews, Street Urchins and Marginal Relations to Work Day could just as easily be called Take Your Daughters, Sons, Nieces, Nephews, Street Urchins and Marginal Relations to Work Day to make photocopies, provide an excuse to go out to lunch, and play Whack-a-Mole on your work computer Day. Lo and behold, the beady little eyes of the fat boy focused with laser-like precision on the glorious gluteus of an attractive female fitness instructor. Mom caught the little bugger in the act and, before The Captain could give the boy a knowing wink, Mother and Son were gone in a flash, leaving behind only the echoes of a profanity-laced tongue lashing! I’ve forgotten my point, but I think it had something to do with the fact that I don’t think this is what the original founders of the event had in mind.

And one final editorial comment for my coworkers in the Claim Department. Bringing your child to work could be seen as a tacit approval of a future career as a Claims Adjuster. You don’t tell your kids about that pot you smoke, do you? Then why in the name of Susan B. Anthony would you let them know that you work for an insurance company??? In the Claim Dept.??? Parental negligence for sure and borderline criminal if you ask me. To this day, my kids have no idea what I do for a living, and it’s going to stay that way.

For the record, The Captain’s crew, my (legitimate) offspring, were all in school where they were legally required to be. The illegitimate ones are all gainfully employed in the Merchant Marine.

Believe The Captain when he says: Bringing your children to work on a school day makes you an accomplice to Truancy!

Yours compulsively,

The Captain




April 26, 2007

Just in case you get bored



Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 6:43 am

File under: Week 15 of 2007

I am off for the rest of the week and Monday. My parents and my sister will be visiting, so once again, Week in Review is early. If there are any significant developments, I trust they will be addressed in my absence.

Has Cheryl Crowe lost her mind? Just don’t call her Sherly! I wonder if she limits herself to one square per squat? Highly unlikely.

Headline of the Week: “Shark-Eating Dino Fossil Found in Utah” There are sharks in Utah? No wonder it is a fossil! Or how about this headline from the Mount Vernon News that says “Clearing Dead Animals from the Road Not a Pleasant Job”. Hey, no kidding? The job may suck, but the perks include venison and other forms of road kill! You just gotta watch out for those pesky motorists as you scrape the carcasses off the blacktop.

Despite my representations to the contrary, I have yet to score the Black Sabbath album “The Dio Years”. However, This site is devoted to all things Sabbath and you will enjoy it. I will go get the album soon. Also, in case you are interested or are a fan, Spinal Tap is set to reunite for a charity event. I wish I could be there.

Now here is something that you will never see me do. Ever. No matter what. In the extremely unlikely event you see me beginning, please stop me, but I do not think that will be necessary.

The left is trying to force their agenda on President Bush and it just isn’t going to work. Having a predetermined date to pull out will meet with a veto by Mr. Bush. As it should. There is no way that announcing when we may leave will do anybody any good nor garner the forces stationed there any good either.

Will the AG be forced to resign? Stay tuned. Meanwhile, the DOW hit 13,000. Coult there be a relationship?

The Alabama Crimson Tide set a new record at the A day game on Saturday with attendance @ 92,138, and they had to turn some folks away. Not bad for a scrimmage game huh? For some reason, Dane and I got to talking about haggis on Wednesday while discussing the A day game. So we looked it up. Just yuck. Something else you would never see me do is eating haggis. If you see me starting to eat it, please stop me. Dane also said we also need to delete some of the dead links on the blogroll (including Uzi’s).

To borrow an old Saturday Night Live line, former Russian President Boris Yeltsin is still dead.

The biggest news of the week was not that Rosie is leaving the view (good freaking riddance) but that an Earth-like planet has been discovered.

Happy healthy weekends to all.

April 24, 2007

How to Start Each Day With a Positive Outlook (from my e-mail)

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it “Hillary Rodham Clinton”

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to get rid of “Hillary Rodham Clinton?”

6. Firmly Click “Yes.”

7. Feel better.

PS: Next week we’ll do Nancy Pelosi



April 23, 2007

RIP: Boris Yeltsin

CATAGORIES: REST IN PEACE — FloridaBill @ 11:08 am


The first ever democratically elected President of Russia.

RIP Boris.


“Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required…”

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